


honey stay here

by jackneph



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel Possessing Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester Use Their Words, Episode: s15e18 The Truth, Love Confessions, M/M, Season/Series 15, They're in love!!!!, if this gets 69 kudos i will bleach my head, ty melly for editing this holds you carefully in my palms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:33:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27406609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackneph/pseuds/jackneph
Summary: Dean feels like Castiel no longer cares for him, but favors Jack more. He knows it's childish to be jealous over his own son but he finds himself pining for Castiel's attention. Dean tells Cas how he really feels.... and then the Empty comes.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 13
Kudos: 147





	honey stay here

**Author's Note:**

> title from "Honeybee" by PUBLIC
> 
> anyone else freaked for tonight's episode..... lol

As much as Dean hates to admit it, he  _ is  _ feeling a little left out of the whole Cas and Jack family reunion. He loves Jack to bits, like the kid is his own son; but he can’t help but miss the days where it was him and Cas. They would have hour long staring contests and it was Cas who would pledge to protect him. Maybe he was feeling jealous. The only thing Dean could think of to capture Castiel’s attention once again would be to ….. confess his feelings for him. 

It’s been on Dean’s mind a lot recently. He can’t pinpoint the exact moment his feelings for the fallen angel had shifted from familial to romantic, but it was definitely something that had developed slowly. Everytime Dean looked at Cas, he wanted to tell him exactly how he felt. Because, a part of him felt like Cas loved him too. Maybe it was the teasing from the angels and demons all those years or Castiel giving so much of himself up for Dean, even going to the ends of the earth to protect him, that made him believe he loved him. But anytime Dean would try to say anything, Cas would stop him.

  
  


There was the time in Purgatory Dean had wanted to tell him.

_ “Okay, Cas, I need to say something.” _

_ "You don't have to say it. I heard your prayer." _

  
  


But Cas had stopped him from saying those three words he had held in for the longest time. That he finally let himself say to his brother, mother, and father, but he now wanted to say in a romantic way. He wanted Cas to know that he was in love with him, before the final battle with Chuck. Dean was ready.

Was Cas not ready?

  
  


Dean was waiting for Cas outside of Jack's bedroom door. He hid around the corner of the hall so he wasn’t standing in plain sight. He hears Cas shut off the light and softly say, "Goodnight, Jack. I love you."

When was the last time Cas had said those words?

_ “Knowing you, it... it’s been the best part of my life. And the things that... the things we’ve shared together, they have changed me. You’re my family. I love you. I love all of you.” _

That was years ago.

  
  
  


How was Dean supposed to confront Castiel about this without sounding like a needy jerk?

'Hey man, remember when you said you loved me, or well, Sam and me? Well, do you still love me? And Sam, of course, we're the bundle package but uh...' 

Yeah that would go terribly.

  
  
  


Cas closes Jack's door and before he turns around to face him he says, "Dean."

Dean's eyebrows shoot up. Even with his low grace, Cas can still sense his presence. Dean steps out of hiding and stands closer to Cas. "Heya, Cas."

Cas faces him, but he still seems surprised to see him. "...What are you doing here?" He asks awkwardly.

"I wanted to talk to you." Dean says. Before he could even think of the right words to say, Cas' face falls and he looks strangely guilty. His face pales and he looks... nervous almost.

"Alright, Dean." Cas says. "Should we talk in your room?"

"Yeah, that's fine." Dean says. 

They make their way through the bunker and Dean notices how tense things are between them. After their big fight, after Cas left, and after Dean's apology in Purgatory, Dean had hoped that things between them would be better. But there was this lingering uneasiness between them, like there are words that have been left unsaid.

They approach Dean’s room and Dean opens the door for the both of them, leading Cas inside before closing it behind him. Dean’s hand starts to tremble and he catches it with his other hand. Cas looks at him curiously.

This is Cas, for God’s sake! He’s known the guy for 11 years. He has no reason to be nervous. 

But Dean wasn’t the type of guy to do school-girl confessions. He can’t remember a time he even admitted he loved someone more than a friend, with all the one night stands and hookups he’s had since he was in high school. He never even got the chance to tell Cassie, or Lisa he loved them. Those feelings have long faded since then, but he knew that both of them would want him to be happier with someone else. And that someone else has been here all along.

Dean decides to bring up one of Cas’ favorite topics. “How’s Jack?”

Cas’ shoulders relax at the mention of Jack’s name, and he lets out a small smile. “Better. Billie was able to heal him, but I can’t help but wonder what she would want as a price for that.” His lips downturn at his last statement. 

“Yeah, well, I’m glad Chuck’s out of the bunker for now. Whatever business him and Billie had can be settled elsewhere, right?” Dean says. 

Cas nods and smiles softly. “Was there something you wanted to say to me?”

“Y-yeah — “ Dean’s voice cracks and he coughs into his hand nervously.  “I don’t mean to sound like some clingy prick or whatever but, Cas, I need to know. After all of this is over, are you staying?”

Cas pauses.

“Dean, do you think I’m just going to take Jack and run?” He asks, amusement glinting in his eyes. 

“Uh…” 

“You’re my family, Dean, I know that now. You, Sam and Jack are all so important to me. Even if I leave, it wouldn’t be for long.” Cas reassures him. “I have never felt at home in this bunker but… I have felt at home with you.”

“Oh.” Dean says, his cheeks turning pink. He lets out a soft laugh and a smile takes up half his face. “I feel the same, actually.”

Alright, Winchester, time to use your words. 

“You know, I actually….. I never got to tell you what I wanted to tell you in Purgatory.”

Cas’ eyes widen. 

"Dean..." He says, and his voice sounds like a warning, almost as if he were on edge about something.

“No, I have to say this.” Dean says. “Just  — please let me say this.”

Cas stays quiet but his eyes are wandering around the room, almost as if he were purposely avoiding eye contact. 

Dean continues. “When I thought I lost you again, I felt  — I felt freaking  _ awful,  _ man. You weren’t there to see what I was like when you were dead but I was a  _ dick. _ Sam says I acted like Dad and.... and I even killed myself for a case, just for Billie to bring me back.”

“Oh, Dean.” Cas says, his eyes finally reaching his and looking at him with sympathy and understanding. 

And maybe it’s the way that he’s looking at him, like Cas knows what Dean is going to say next. that he feels like he can say it. That Cas promised he would never leave him because he didn’t  _ want  _ to leave him. That Dean is Cas’ home. 

“I never want to go through that again. So…. so if this whole fighting-God-thing goes wrong, Cas, I need you to know that I...”

_ Say it. _

_ Say it! _

_ He loves you too, you idiot. _

“That I love you, Cas.” Dean says, looking at Castiel as if he had hung the moon and painted the night sky full of stars.

Cas sighs softly. “I love you too, Dean.”

“You — ?” Dean’s eyes widen. 

“Yes, I’ve loved you for years.” Cas says, blinking at him with adoration.

“That’s  — wait, I mean love like  _ in love _ .” Dean says quickly. 

“Yes, I know. I’m in love with you, Dean Winchester.” And Cas is smiling at Dean, all teeth and gums.

Dean laughs then, relief flooding out of his lungs with each breath he takes. "We’re a couple of dumbasses, aren't we? After all this time..."

Cas laughs with him, his eyes crinkling at the sight of the man he loves before him.

"I prefer the word — "

But before he could finish their familiar inside joke, Billie busts into the room. 

"Billie, uh, what are you doing here?" Dean asks. 

His eyebrows contort in concern but his posture is still relaxed and comfortable. He comes up behind Cas who’s back is now facing him, and claps his hand on his shoulder. He tenses at Dean’s touch, and Dean turns his head towards him to see that his jaw is set. Dean worries his lip and looks at Billie

"Are you….Billie?" Cas asks.

"No, I’m Empty, a friend of Castiel’s actually.” Their eyes flicker between Cas and Dean. “I’m just trying on the suit. Billie  _ was _ here.. looking for you for some reason. But they’re letting me borrow their vessel for something on my checklist. I have to tick off an errand." They smirk at Cas and his face turns ghostly pale. 

Dean steps in front of Cas and grits his teeth, his anger openly canvased across his features. "What do you want?" he grits out.

"Oh, I’m not here for you, Dean." The Empty says. "I’m here for the angel."

"What are you talking about?"

"Dean..." Cas says quietly.

"Cas doesn't owe you a dime."

"So he doesn't know?" The shadow is amused. "I would've thought you had told the Winchesters and they'd find a way to get you out of this mess like they always do, but they don't have a clue?" The shadow doesn't hide their smugness. "Oh I  _ like  _ this."

The shadow begins to circle Cas and Dean, as if they were an animal entraping its prey.

As soon as Dean and Cas’ backs are facing the door, Cas gently pushes him towards the exit. Dean resists, and shoots a hurt look at him.

"Cas," Dean asks, urgency rising in his tone. "What are they talking about?"

"Dean, you need to leave." Cas says, looking back and forth between the entity and Dean. "Please." He pleads.

"Not without you I am, the hell I am!" Dean says. Castiel pushes Dean towards the door but Dean grabs his arm and Castiel gives in, lifting Dean's arm around his shoulder as they run through the corridors of the bunker.

"Are you serious?" The Empty lets out a laugh that echoes through the hallway. "You think you can run from me? Me? I am nothing.... "

"Here, in there." Dean says as they approach the dungeon.

Dean shuts the door behind them and locks it. He pants and leans against the door. "What the hell was that?"

"Dean, there's something I haven't told you."

The words ring familiar in Dean’s ears. "Oh, like the whole thing with Jack?" But his words were empty of malice, only pure curiosity. "What’s going on, Cas? What the hell does the Empty want with you? Did you forget to return its fine china set and now it's come for you or something?" Dean jokes, but his heart is still hammering in his chest.

_ Something’s wrong. _

Dean pales at Cas’ grave expression.

"Dean I — “ Cas’ eyes well with tears and every alarm in Dean’s head starts going off.

His soft voice activates and he waves his hands around soothingly as he walks closer to Cas. "Hey, hey, whatever this is, whatever you gotta say, we can get through this."

Cas nods but he looks up, trying to wish his tears away.

"Do you... do you wanna..?" Dean starts to suggest.

"I’ve been hiding something from you and Sam."

"Okay, Cas, well," the soft voice reserved for Cas stays strong in his tone. "I'm all ears."

"Dean, when… Jack came back for the first time, it wasn't the 'no strings attached' win you thought it was."

"What are you...?"

"I made a deal, Dean." Cas lowers his eyes from Dean’s. He prepares himself for an outlash, for being called an idiot, for messing up the plan. Dean is silent, for what felt like a stretch over a century, but it had only been a few minutes.

Cas raises his eyes to meet Dean's gaze and his mouth opens slightly from what he sees. Tears stream down Dean's cheek. His bottom lip is wobbling. He sniffs but tears still fall, chasing after his hand when he had wiped them away.

" _ Cas _ ," Dean says and he sounded broken. Like when the reaper April had killed him, and he found Cas dead, sitting in front of him. Like how Lucifer was sharing his vessel and for a second the real Castiel was able to get through to him from the sound of his voice. Like when Cas was stabbed through the chest with an angel blade and laid on the ground dead. And now it was going to happen all over again. Dean was going to lose Cas once again.

"Dammit, Cas." Dean whispers, but his voice was void of anger.

"The Empty said they would take me once I gave myself permission to be happy."

Dean curses gently under his breath and averts his eyes.

"But I thought that would be a long way off."

"Oh you thought? You — " Dean cuts himself off. "Cas, do you know how many times I had to see you die? How much it  _ killed me  _ to see your life ripped away before my own eyes?"

Castiel stays quiet.

"Too many damn times."

Cas swallows. "I’m sorry for ruining the plan, Dean."

"Screw the plan, Cas. We hardly even had one." Dean says. "I guess I just... I guess I had been too hopeful for the outcome. For you, me, Sam and Jack to survive all of this. I guess I had too much faith."

Castiel's eyes open wide at Dean’s declaration. "You have... faith?" He asks gently.

"Yeah." Dean bitterly laughs. "Ever since you came back, I guess I began to have faith."

Cas remembers the conversation between them in the barn when they met for the first time:

_ “This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith." _

"Faith in... what?" Cas asks.

"You.'' Dean says.

Castiel stills. The man that he had rebelled against heaven for, gave an entire army up for, and fell in love with, had put his entire faith in him.

  
  


"I have faith in us, all of us. Maybe... maybe once Jack saves the day, Billie will save you too, right? Maybe it's not your time to go yet."

Cas internally cringes at Dean’s words. He opens his mouth to speak, but is interrupted by a loud clanging on the dungeon doors. The banging goes on and the doors rattle, until the swift sound of a door being unlocked from the inside is heard and the door swings open, the Empty stepping through the entrance.

“Have you made your heartfelt confessions yet? I think it's time to go, Castiel. Death is running on a tight schedule now and they're only letting me borrow their vessel for a couple minutes more."

Dean guts out his knife and swipes at the figure but Castiel stops him, his palm taking the hit instead of the Empty. He hisses as blood drips down his forearm.

"Cas!'' Dean cries. He stuffs the knife back in his pocket cradling Cas’ hand with his own. "Are you alright? I didn't mean to — "

"I know." Cas reassures him, with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. He looks at his hand that has blood spreading across his palm and releases it from Dean’s touch. He grips Dean’s shoulder  _ one last time _ , leaving behind a handprint with his blood. He looks at Dean, the beautiful soul he crafted from hell. He nods firmly then turns towards the entity.

"Glad you're not going with a fight, Castiel. I’d hate to have to kill him too." The Empty nods at Dean, whose eyes are flicking back and forth, raw despair overcoming his features. "I hear Death’s got some pretty big plans for you, Dean."

Dean clenches his jaw. 

"Dean's got a purpose in this world, unlike you." The entity smirks at the fallen angel. "Time's up, Castiel."

"No!” Dean chokes out. "I can't  — I can't lose you again.  _ Castiel _ _ — _ "

_ "Dean."  _ Castiel's voice is as smooth as an ocean, washing away footprints in the sand. "You’re a good man."

Dean gasps softly.

"I’ve decided that I’m done fighting. I have barely enough grace to heal my hand here, and my combat skills as a human were not the best. I think you will all do just fine." He nods again, confidently. "I just know it."

The Empty comes up behind Castiel and cloaks him in darkness, starting from his legs and rapidly spiraling its way up.

Dean wipes away his tears sharply, and reaches for his knife for anything  — anything that can save Cas.

"Don’t fight it, Dean." Castiel says. "I wish things could've been different, but I know this is how my story is supposed to end."

"No." Dean looks at Cas, and then behind him at the entity tangling itself with him. "You’re wrong."

A sad smile grazes Castiel's lips as the black venom continues to clothe his skin.

"Cas, I need you." Dean says. "You’re my best friend, and I can't let you go."

Cas shoots him a pained expression. "You’ll survive, Dean. You can learn to go on without me."

"No, I can't." He steps close to Cas, and takes the hand that hasn't been swarmed with darkness, and presses it against his chest. "You can... possess me right? The Empty doesn't want me  — it wants you! So you can share my vessel with me… right?"

"Dean..." Cas tilts his head. "This is my fate. Eventually the Empty is going to have to take me."

"Screw your fate, Cas! We’ve messed with it before, we can do it again.'' Dean shoots him a familiar grin. "Castiel, I give you permission to possess me. If having your angel grace in my veins will save you, then  _ yes _ ."

"What the hell are you doing?" The entity interrupts. "No, no, Billie, are you listening to this?" The Empty says, exasperated. "Winchester is trying to share his vessel with the angel. Can you believe this?" They groan, their hands falling at their sides.

"Cas, you hear me?" Dean asks. He gently shakes Cas’ shoulder, getting him to face him once again. "I said  _ yes _ ."

Cas looks lost, his gaze caught between the Empty and Dean.

"Castiel, I’m not waiting for you to make a decision." The Empty says. "You’re mine!"

Cas wakes up then, from the dizzying spell he was in, and grabs Dean's face, pulling him into a kiss.

The body of Castiel suddenly falls onto the floor, his vessel empty and drained. 

Dean would panic, if it weren't for the familiar and comforting presence he feels in the back of his mind.

_ "Hello, Dean." _ A voice echos.

Dean smiles. "Dammit Cas, we did it."

The Empty drops to their knees at Castiel's vessel. "You." They sneer up at Dean. "You're lucky I can't twist your insides right now."

Dean lifts an eyebrow. "I appreciate the offer, but I already have a boyfriend, so thanks."

Dean hears the echo of a laugh inside his head.  _ "Oh, boyfriends? Who said anything about that?" _ The voice teased.

Dean smirked. "Well I just thought, you know..."

_ "Are you asking?" _

"Hell yes. I'm asking the angel currently possessing my vessel to be my boyfriend." He wiggles his eyebrows for the added effect.

"I can't take this awkward flirting-with-yourself crap." The Empty interrupts. "I’m leaving. But the second that Castiel leaves your vessel, he's mine."

The Empty vanishes into thin air and Dean lets out a loud exhale.

"Jesus, I was so scared, Cas." Dean said suddenly. The emotions he was holding back came to his forefront. Tears dropped to the floor as Dean found himself raggedly breathing as he was bending over, almost as if he were dry-heaving.

_ "Dean, I’m here." _ And a washed over sense of relief warms Dean's fingers and travels all the way to his chest, blossoming out into gentle waves of warmth and comfort.

"Is that...?"

_ "My grace." _ Cas says.  _ "Think of it as... a grace induced hug. I'm hugging you from the inside." _

"As wrong as that sounds, thanks Cas." Dean says with a rough laugh.

He looks at Cas’ vessel lying on the floor, and tries to ignore the flashbacks to when he had last seen Castiel lying dead on the ground. Cas' grace comes in shushing waves and pushes the thoughts from his mind.

Dean lifts Cas' body and carries him to the angel's bedroom, laying him down on his bed. "This is gonna be a hard one to explain to Sam, right?" Dean says.

He has an angel, living inside of his body. Reading all of his thoughts and feeling all of his emotions. As scared as he should feel, Dean could only feel relief. 

"So I guess you're sticking around then, in me? You know it's not too bad. Not anything at all compared to..." Dean visibly shivers. "Michael."

_ "Michael was a bigoted jerk who took his daddy issues out on the entire world and caused an apocalypse just because he couldn't get any attention." _

Dean lets out a laugh. "Geez, Cas. Tell us how you really feel about your brother  — or uh... your alternate universe brother."

_ "He's dead and that's all the matters. He'll never touch you again." _

Dean knew this time with Cas is different than with Michael. Cas brings him comfort, and makes him feel complete in ways he didn't even realize were broken. And even though Cas can read every inner thought that Dean had, that doesn’t spark any fear in him. It makes him feel understood. Cas had been the one to rebuild his soul from hell, had to deal with his blows from the Mark of Cain, and the words he wished he never said to Cas:

_ “You’re dead to me.” _

After everything, Castiel loved him unconditionally.

  
  


"I know, Cas." Dean looks at Castiel's vessel one last time before closing the door behind him. He heads to his room and sits on his bed.

"This night could've gone a whole lot worse. I'm....” Dean couldn't stop himself from breaking down. He lets out a sob and his body shakes as he expresses his vulnerability.

_ "Dean, you're safe. I'm safe. We’ll find a way to defeat Chuck without Jack dying. We’ll find a way to return myself to my vessel. I believe in Sam, Jack, you, and me. Like I said, we're  _ real _." _

Dean's cries slow to soft whimpers that escape his lips without command. He wipes a hand over his wet nose and takes deep breaths. "You’re right. We’re gonna gank that son of a bitch. And Jack will be the new god. And….and…” 

Dean stops himself, and settles down on his bed. He lies down on his right side, imagining Cas lying down on his left.

"I love you.” He says to the quiet room.

_ "I love you too." _ Castiel says back. 

**Author's Note:**

> i know this won't happen cuz im a clown! but i can only dream that cas will be alive by the time the show ends....


End file.
